The Beginners Guide to Mom Life
If you are finding this blog post, you are probably a new mom, soon to be mom, or a mom just looking for more answers! All are completely welcome! I love all things mom related. I could honestly talk about everything from Pregnancy, all the way through adulthood! Being a mom you wear so many hats, and play so many roles. I just want to share my experience as well as all the hacks and tricks about being a mom I find to help make your life easier, and help you feel related to.
I’m a mom to 1 and a half kids, because I’m currently cooking up a new one as we speak! I have a daughter, who is almost two, and a little boy who will be born in October. I’m not here to tell you I am a professional at this mom thing, but in reality, who is? We all are figuring things out as we go, am I right? So my first and most important tip about being a mom is, don’t be too hard on yourself. We all love our little ones, we all want what is best for them. All of us want to see them grow up into decent human beings.
What is Mom Life?
Mom life is so much more than just wiping butts, and feeding a baby. There are a lot of things that go into being a mom, but what is amazing we are inherently built as women to be mothers. It is in every fiber of our being to love and care for our own. Without mother’s we would not be here. We carry life and bring it into the world. We nurture, love and put these little humans needs above our own everyday. Mom life is truly the most amazing part of life.
Mom life is also really hard and challenging, but always in the best ways. A year ago, a family friend of mine told me “You are so different than you were last year.” I didn’t quite understand what she meant. She then said “You have matured so much, but in all the best ways. Motherhood suits you.” She genuinely meant it. That wasn’t the only time I had a comment made to me like that. Having late nights, and no sleep, but still being able to stare longingly at your little babe with so much love for them, changes you. When your little one has a massive blowout, and you manage to clean it up, and then laugh about it later while cuddling your sweet baby, it changes you. Mom life stretches you in ways you didn’t know you were capable of.
What you Need to Know
There is actually so much I could type for this section, I could probably write a book on this very thing, with all the “Need to Knows.” I’m honestly going to share, what for me were the essentials to know.
- I’m starting with this one, because to me this was a game changer for me. It is so important to give yourself time each day. It can be even 5-10 minutes of you focused on you. Go to the bathroom, take a shower, put on some 5 minute makeup, change your clothes, do a 5 minute hairstyle. Whatever it is, do something for yourself.
- They don’t call it “mother’s intuition” for nothing. If you don’t feel right about something, it is better to be safe than sorry.
- If you want to hold your baby all day, do it. They aren’t a baby forever.
- Don’t stress about the dishes and the house during your 6 weeks of healing time. You may feel good (or not), but your body is still healing. You have a husband, friends and family for that. If for some reason you don’t have that, please take it easy. The dishes can wait, the floors don’t have to be perfect, laundry will always be there.
- Don’t feel obligated to listen to your aunt’s, mother in law’s, sister’s opinion on how to parent your baby/future toddler. You are the mom. Although you should still try and be respectful, just do your thing. Try to remember that they have good intentions.
- If you can have a diaper party or diaper raffle, before the baby comes, DO IT. Newborn diaper changes are super frequent. You can exchange the sizes if the boxes are unopened.
- I believe mom’s get a super power for like a week to two weeks postpartum. We are able to somehow recover from possibly the most physical body trauma we have ever experienced and still be able to take care of a baby.
- Breastfeeding has a learning curve. I personally loved breastfeeding, and I know women who don’t share those same feelings. However I personally believe if you can breastfeed you should give it a solid try. It took me 2 months to be comfortably nursing without pain, because I had thrush in my breasts. When it no longer hurt at all for me, it was awesome! Convenient, free, food everywhere I went, and it really helped me bond with my daughter.
- This may seem like a no brainer, but I feel I should still say it. Keep an extra onesie and diaper in your car and in your diaper bag basically at all times. Accidents happen, especially when you least expect it. You may think “I have had this onesie in here for 2-3 months and it has never been needed I’m going to bring it inside.” Then BAM! They have a blowout and now you have a naked baby, or you have to leave somewhere because they don’t have clothing.
- Lastly, and also solidly important here. This refers similarly back to my first point a bit. You are not just a mom, you are still a human with feelings and needs. It is so easy to get super focused on just being a mom that you might sometimes feel like you are losing yourself. (If you are married this tip applies to you). Don’t forget about your relationship with your spouse. My life is so much more pleasant when my relationship with my spouse has been consistently worked on. I’m such a much happier person, and parent.
Tips for Success In your New Mom Life
There is no “perfect,” “right way” to navigating through mom life. You will make mistakes, forgive yourself (your young kids forgive you). I just can’t stress that enough. Mom guilt is so hard. Seriously, why should I feel guilty for leaving my child with my husband for an hour to do something for myself? He is a parent too! Why do I feel guilty for not sharing my last bite of chocolate with my child? They don’t need the chocolate, I do! Why do I feel guilty for accidentally tripping my child? They just threw the water cup at my face! When all else fails, just LOVE them. Love them so hard, and show them that love. At the end of the day, they will know you love them, if you show them.
Common Questions/FAQ About Mom Life?
Does it get easier?
- Every developmental stage comes with its own set of challenges. Newborns generally are simple to care for, however they rely on you for absolutely everything. Their only form of communication is crying, and it is hard to distinguish what the cry is for. Are they hungry, gassy, tired? Infants start to become more alert, and start smiling and being super adorable, but the dreaded teething also may start. Toddlers can walk, and mostly feed themselves with some assistance, but they also have a lot of feelings they aren’t sure how to communicate. I could go through the pros and cons of all the stages for children, but with every great triumph in parenting, comes a new hurdle to jump!
What do you do when you leave the hospital with your child for the first time?
- Take all the things the hospital has. Pads, diapers, wipes, spray bottle, the medicine for your vagina. Everything you can take, you should. You are probably paying an arm and a leg for delivering your baby. When you get home, find the most comfortable place in the house, that is easy to get up and down from and go relax. Hold your baby, and try to just soak up those super precious moments.
How do you get things done, if you are holding a baby all day?
- As a mom, I have learned to get really creative. It was a bit awkward at first, but getting a solid baby carrier or wrap will help you tremendously. When I started feeling a lot better, I would put my baby in a wrap and tidy the house and, do my makeup all while being hands free. Also if you can take a break, you should. Put your little one down in a bassinet, or a swing so you can get a break.
When did you start taking your baby out in public?
- I started taking her out around 2 weeks, I started out with short spurts and always had someone with me during the first 6 weeks. I kept her in a carseat, and I kept a Milk Snob cover over her the whole time, because I wanted to make it very clear that she wasn’t up for show. Thankfully everyone I was around were respectful and I was never bothered by anyone.
What was your scariest mommy moment?
- When Kenady was maybe 8 months old (I could be off on the age) we were co-sleeping since I was visiting my parents, and she never sleeps well there. It was around 5 in the morning, she managed to roll off the bed. It wasn’t a very big fall, and it certainly scared her and me. I picked her up and nursed her and she stopped crying within in 15 seconds. For the rest of the morning I held her so close and tight to me, googling like a mad woman concussion information in infants for an hour straight. Her fall gave me the biggest jolt of adrenaline I have ever felt. Thankfully she was totally fine, but definitely my first encounter with an accident as a mom.
How do I get to feeling myself again?
- Get ready for your day
- Make mom friends, and have a play date
- Start a hobby
- Give yourself time (Hormones are a funky thing, they are going to change quite a bit after you have had your baby)
- If you are feeling depressed or really disconnected or having really negative thoughts about yourself or baby. Please tell your doctor. There is help. Please don’t suffer in silence.
The Last Thing You Need to Know about Mom Life
It is a new phase of life, unlike any other! It is exciting, funny, gross at times, weird, fun, wild, silly, and so much more. This has been the best journey I have embarked on thus far. You are going to do great! Don’t worry, you got this!
I hope this gave you some great insight into what you have to look forward to, or maybe you can even relate to already! Please share with me what you are most excited about for being a new mom, or what has been the best part of mom life for you? Leave a comment! I’d LOVE to hear all about it and hopefully chat more!
So much Love and Excitement for you on this Mom Journey,